29 September 2010


-Serena van der Woodsen has nothing on these teenage girls. School uniforms here are

tricked out. The shorter the skirt, the better. Is your shirt so tight that the buttons are busting? Fantastic! You're halfway there! Do you have boots with sky high hooker heels? Please, wear those to school. Also, if you happen to have any fake eyelashes laying around, put those on. They'll help you see the board better.

-Fashion is a priority. I walk around all day in my sperrys, reveling in the comfort and warmth. This is vastly different from the many women wandering the streets in (minimum) 3-

inch heels. Women walk permanently on their toes, refusing the heels the opportunity to sink between the cobblestones.

-Gone are the days when a cute top and tight jeans would suffice for a night out. A "normal" outfit involves a dress so tight and short that getting into it would require crisco and double-sided tape, heels so high that I can already see the broken ankle, and hair so teased that it looks like you stuck your finger in a light socket.

-Snookie would fit in really well here with her bump-it.

-Think it's too cold for jean shorts? No problem. Just slap on some tights underneath and throw on a pair of Uggs. Voila! Now you're ready for literally any weather. Note: Keds are also accepted. Also, if you want to dress it up, then please substitute a jean skirt.

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree with this! I was so surprised when I got here! I feel like I need to buy all new clothes... eh.

    By the way, you should add the "following" feature to you blog! I like to follow bloggers :)